Home - Hetalia
by FeuCeleste
Summary: Two past allies and friends. They became enemies, and bitter regrets was all they could remember. Until they saw the painting.


HOME

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_Pictures are weapons. Their bullets can stab your heart with colours._

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"Are you coming, big brother ?"

His gaze was glued on the picture, to the point that the sweet voice of the young girl didn't even reach his ears. When he felt a small hand shyly touching his arm, he snapped back to reality.

"Uhm... Yeah ?" he said, definitely troubled. "Sorry, Liechtenstein, I wasn't listening..."

She smiled gently and paid attention to the picture he was looking at. Her eyes widened and she let out a small gasp.

"I... I am so sorry, brother..." she murmured.

Switzerland shook his head, but sorrow was painted on his face even if he was trying to hide it.

"Why are you sorry ?" he asked, turning away from the picture. "There's no problem. Let's continue."

He stared at her and presented his hand, which she took with a sad look.

She knew the truth. The truth he was trying to avoid, to burry deep inside of his soul.

Switzerland knew she knew, for all the time they had been together. Behind his tough front, there was a sensitive child who had never forgotten, never forgiven, and... there was something else. So painful that he couldn't stand admitting it even to himself, he would need some time to fully understand what was going on within his heart.

The picture was only a mirror to it.

XXX

The young woman tried to calm him down, but that was as useless as talking to a wall. When he had heard the news, he had not waited even a single minute to express his dissatisfaction.

"Please, Austria..." she said with her joined hands.

"This child was asked to come here, and I still don't see him. I thought he knew the meaning of the word 'emergency'."

Hungary sighed, her eyes looking even more worried when she heard a little knock on the big wooden door of the office.

"I ask you to be polite, that's all" she declared with more confidence. "You can't blame him for that, it's his _reason to live_."

She left with dignity and met the child waiting behind the door. With an encouraging smile, she let the two males alone.

Kugelmugel stepped on the room, without a word. Austria was sitting on the sofa, his back turned to the door.

"Come here, Kugelmugel. I have no doubt you know what brought you here, and you've waited enough to have a little talk with me."

The young boy took a deep breath and sitted on the sofa, in front of a furious but oddly calm-looking Austrian aristocrat. His purple eyes were cold as he laid them on the shy boy.

"So, do you ?"

Kugelmugel nodded in silence. Austria waited a few seconds.

"It was for Art sake" the younger male finally let out.

Austria remained in silence for a few more seconds. Anger was boiling in him but he was able to hide it.

"It's always 'for Art'" he accused him sharply. "The adults' world is something you shouldn't put your nose in. I highly recommand you immediately put this picture away and-"

"No" the boy interrupted him, startling the man. "With all the consideration I have for you, I can't do that. The new paintings will be inaugurated in two hours, and it's part of the collection so it wouldn't make any sense to take it away."

Austria crossed his arms.

"I'm not asking for your permission, you _will_ take it away, whether you want it or not."

Kugelmugel remained in silence, his legs balancing alternatively in the air.

"I won't tear myself apart as you wish. (A cold glare greeted his refusal.) Even more if it's for such personnal motives. It's not my fault if you aren't able to look back at your own History."

"Kug-"

"Switzerland has been a part of you, you can't erase him just as you please. That's why a painting of you two is a reflect of you, and taking it away is pure denial."

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"_What will you do with this... ?"_

_Austria gazed at his own drawing, which Switzerland was holding in his small chubby hands. His purple eyes were sparkling._

"_I will decorate my house, of course" he replied._

_Switzerland was honored, no, glad to be represented like this on the drawing. But his humility and his pride were too strong, bringing red to his cheeks and making him act as if it was nothing for him._

"_If you want my opinion, art is important" Switzerland mumbled, "but if intruders were to attack you, you couldn't protect yourself with your drawings."_

_Austria pouted and took his drawing back._

"_Don't be like that, weapons aren't something to live for. And knowledge can be a weapon."_

"_But sticks, rocks, arrows and blades are more useful in case of danger."_

_Austria sighed and put his drawing away. His friend stood up. Despite all the dust and mud, his sharp green eyes were still the most precious emeralds that could ever exist, and his blonde hair was like pure platinum._

"_Come on, the night will soon fall."_

_Austria stood up as well, still a little saddened by his best – and only – friend's reaction. They were almost like brothers, after all._

"_I made it thinking about our last meeting" Austria said. "Whatever if you didn't enjoy it, maybe you just don't know how to appreciate art."_

_They took a few steps, the moon coming up slowly and proudly, brightening up their path._

"_I... (Switzerland sighed.) You know... I like your drawings. And I enjoyed our last meeting just as you did. Don't think those things when you don't know..."_

_The end sounded like a quiet accusation. But Austria was too relieved to know that he had liked their special reunion._

"_I just think there's no need of a drawing" Switzerland continued._

_They kept walking in silence. Austria waited, sensing that his friend was too shy. He encouraged him to keep going._

"_And why is it so ?"_

_The little Austrian then felt a slight blow on the back of his head._

"_Ouch ! Wh-"_

"_Because it was such a beautiful moment that the memories are still vivid, and they will probably be forever... (He coughed.) That's why there's no need of a picture."_

_A smile brightened Austria's young and round face. He took Switzerland by the arm – the Swiss boy didn't bother anymore, as he had grown accustomed to that kind of respectful and friendly contact._

"_Yes... You're right."_

_Switzerland nodded. He was right because it was true._

_He would forever remember the happiness that was secretly making his heart pound in his chest like the one of a carefree child. Because, during this evening Austria had took care to depict on a simple piece of paper, Switzerland had forgotten everything else. Danger. Conflicts. Problems. He had felt the joy to just spend time with the best friend and ally he had ever had._

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Austria did his best not to scream, not to slap this person who was stomping on his feelings like that. (He was always reducing Kugelmugel to the 'child' status, but Kugelmugel wasn't one. Almost.)

The aristocrat deeply sighed, raising his voice.

"Kugelmugel, you'd better leave this room right away" he threatened. "We'll have another conversation later."

The boy left the sofa and headed to the door.

"Kugelmugel. If you dare talk about or bring the old days back into the conversation again, I will not hesitate to use _another _way to make you keep silence. This is a warning from the Austrian government."

Kugelmugel stopped at the door.

"I agree. But I won't take the picture away."

And he quickly left the room, and the Austrian man who was motionless.

If Kugelmugel wasn't able to take it away, Austria was _kindly _going to do it for him.

He had less than two hours left.

If someone saw this picture, what would they think ?

What if... by the worst of misfortunes... Switzerland saw it ?

XXX

When he entered the small museum, his heart sank. He felt like he was missing air to breathe.

Switzerland was just about to leave the exhibition.

He had seen it.

He couldn't leave like this, could he ?!

Without a further thought, the aristocrat went back outside.

XXX

Liechtenstein was still holding her brother's hand, but she knew he mentally wasn't there anymore. She had insisted that he follow her to the new exhibition of Kugelmugel, promising that they would just look at the paintings and sculptures and leave. She hadn't predicted something would remind Switzerland of his old days and his past friend like that.

She lead him to the exit, sensing that he needed to go back home.

The last sunbeams illuminated the wood of the building like gold dust. The blonde man raised his hand to protect his eyes from the sunlight.

However, the light couldn't illuminate the gloomy but dignified silhouette that was standing just after the exit, with the air of waiting for him.

In all his glory and dark clothes, as Switzerland knew him, Austria was looking at him with insistance. Their eyes met. The blonde man's heart jumped between his ribs out of... fear ? Or anger ? He didn't know. But he knew he wasn't ready to face the Austrian. Not after what he had seen at the exhibition.

Switzerland froze for a second. Before he could even find a way to get out of this situation, Austria nodded in a polite way.

"Good evening, Liechtenstein, Switzerland."

The girl greeted him warmly, but her brother... just nodded. He made a gesture to skirt him but the Austrian quickly interrupted his escape.

"May you give me some of your time ? I... have something to tell you."

Switzerland looked up – his old friend was taller than him... –, his heart beating faster in his chest.

"That's weird" he answered coldly, "I don't remember having anything to talk about with you."

Liechtenstein looked at both of them, not knowing what to do or say. Austria breathed in calmly.

"But I do" he replied. "I guess you wondered why a certain picture was in there."

Switzerland's cheeks flushed pink. He shook his head, trying to hide it.

"I didn't pay that much attention, if you must know" he lied. "Now, if you could step aside, I have to go back home... that is to say _not here_."

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_Austria asked his friend to close his eyes. Switzerland wouldn't be Switzerland if he wasn't suspicious about nearly anything, but... he obeyed, his eyebrows slightly furrowed anyways. The young Austria took his arm without a word and lead him further than his friend would have imagined. He was starting to seriously wonder what he was going to see, but when he was finally given permission to look, his mouth dropped open._

_On a far place in the Austrian woods, surrounded by different shades of green, the sun was leaving to let the moon take its place. The pale orange and pink above them painted the evening sky. The last sunrays were displaying their soft golden light on the tall trees, their majestic trunk and apple green trimmed foliage. The shadowy veil of the night was coating everything else._

_Nature was wild around them. In front of them was a small yet comfortable-looking wooden cabin on the edge of the woods. There were flowers planted on the rooftop made of simple branches, the door was decorated with clovers and a little fireplace was waiting for a fire to warm up the whole place. A tiny protective wall made of stacked rocks was marking out the small 'property'._

_Switzerland didn't find his words. Austria leaned in and squeezed his dear friend's chubby hand, smiling softly._

"_Happy birthday, Switzerland._"

_XXX_

_The evening was wonderful. Wonderful wasn't even the right word... Switzerland was going to need decades to realize that this evening, he had truly enjoyed being alive and celebrating with someone dear to his heart. Which was rare. Which, in fact, had... never happened before._

_They had explored the little cabin – the blonde boy was impressed by Austria's skills in building something out of wildness, even if it was worth the friend of Heidi's father. After talking about how such a cute little house was born, they had visited the place around them to find some wood, edible mushrooms and berries and brought it all back to the fireplace. There was a small circle of stones devoid of grass in the center, ready to welcome the fire. Switzerland stared at it, speechless, and took a sit to start the fire._

_The evening went on. The fish Austria had caught with his hand-made trap was tasty, and the side-dishes only added pleasure to their celebration meal. They chatted a lot, allowing themselves to take this time for them._

_This was all for Switzerland._

"_Why did I do all this ?_"_ Austria repeated, putting down a berry. _"_You have such foolish questions... (He smiled and stared at the berry.) You being my best friend isn't enough ? For all this time you have helped me, carried me on your back when I was hurt, comforted me, protected me... Building you a house you can call 'home' and giving you food is the very least I can do._"

_Switzerland swallowed._

"_There's no payment to provide, you know_"_ the blonde boy mumbled. _"_But..._"

_He turned his head to the cabin._

_A joyful smile graced his lips._

"_But having a place to call 'home' is good._"

_He faced his friend, whose purple eyes were filled with surprise._

"_Can we add something for goats ?_"_ Switzerland requested. _"_I like goats a lot... (His cheeks went a light shade of red.) I'll build it myself, you did enough._"

_Austria's eyes were sparkling with excitement, and... hope. He shook his head._

"_Come on, what kind of a host and friend would I be if I let you do this ? My goal was to make this place absolutely perfect for you. I'll do anything to improve it, so let me do as you ideally want it to be._"

_His serious face was hilarious... and touching. Switzerland couldn't help but laugh wholeheartedly. The brown-haired boy stared at him, but joined him soon. His friend gave him a hand._

"_Then build the goats house for me, Austria._"

_The Austrian boy crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow._

"'_Please'_"_ Switzerland added, embarrassed. _"_I thought it was supposed to be part of the gift !_"

"_It is !_"_ Austria replied with a smile, taking his hand. _"_But you really should learn to be less rude, Switzerland._"

"_Mind your own business !_"

_Switzerland quickly forgot to be angry and chuckled at Austria's pouty face. Still holding hands, they didn't notice the stars slowly showing up._

_Star-gazing was unavoidable before going to sleep. They were glittering like tiny flakes of diamonds. The two boys would certainly never lay hands on such precious items, but they could contemplate it from afar and that was enough._

"'_Home' is a wonderful place to be_"_ Switzerland murmured._

_There was a short silence._

"'_Home' is a place you can always go back to whenever you want_"_ Austria replied. _"_This place is ours._"

_Again, a short silence welcomed his words. Switzerland's voice lowered, and grew a bit... worried._

"_What if... (He practically whispered the following words.) One of us can't come back here ?_"

_The silence was a little longer this time._

"_Whatever the reason might be, home is home. If one can't come back here, the other will help him. If they really can't, then... It means they're gone._"

_Not being friends anymore wasn't something they could expect._

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Nearly everyone had left the exhibition, and whoever was still there could sense that tension around the two men. That's why noone approached the stunning picture of the little cabin in the woods and the two happy children, except the two children turned adult.

Liechtenstein was nervously waiting to the other side of the little museum to not bother them.

Silence slowly fell like a somptuous curtain on a stage. Soon they were completely alone.

Switzerland and Austria were staring at the picture, side to side, in the heaviest silence that could ever surround them.

Austria eventually found the courage to speak.

"Kugelmugel didn't know this place" he said softly. "He found it, painted it without me aknowledging it and... here it is..."

He risked a brief look on the side. His Swiss neighbour's eyes were still admiring the nostalgic scene that had been perfectly depicted.

"I should have told him earlier to not do this..."

He heard a husky sigh. An angry one.

"Is there any chance that you would regret this evening, Mr. Aristocrat ?" the Swiss man spat. "Isn't it _charming _enough to be represented on a painting ?"

The brown-haired aristocrat could deny it, but he knew it would be useless.

The blonde-haired one crossed his arms.

"Is it all you have to tell me ? I don't want to make my little sister wait for me any longer."

"Switzerland..."

Austria looked at the young Switzerland represented on the picture. He looked exactly like Austria had known him.

"The first drawing I showed you... I treasured it all these years like the most precious painting I ever had in my mansion. I... didn't always feel comfortable while gazing at it..."

"Why didn't you throw it then ?" Switzerland replied sharply. "There's nothing left between us that you need to keep."

Austria's look grew darker as he lowered his head.

His heart was aching. Never had it felt so bad before. Powerful and merciless fists were clasping it violently and he found hard to breathe. He took a deep breath nevertheless and looked again at the picture.

Then at Switzerland.

"There's still _this. _(He pointed at the picture.) One of the wonderful memories I've never been able to erase from my mind even if I wanted too. Because... Even without a painting, I remember it as if it had happened yesterday."

The blonde man's head turned so quickly that he didn't even seem to control it. His schocked green eyes met the purple ones. Switzerland felt redness invade his cheeks.

Shit, that was embarrassing. But... Austria's eyes were still as gorgeous as he remembered they were.

Tantalizing purple that was trying to hold the green in its grip.

Austria was _that _powerful over him.

The Swiss turned away, his heart racing.

"Wh-What are you trying to say ?" he stuttered. "Get to the point."

Austria gulped. They locked gazes in an instant.

"'Home' still exists, Switzerland."

The blonde man's internal composure fell.

This innocent, beautiful, magic word... awful, painful, damned word...

He wanted to retort, but nothing came out. If it did, it would be as sharp as an axe, both of them knew it.

"You never came back" Austria said softly, his voice full of silent regrets. "I did. This cabin is now a bit small for me, and I can't smell the smoke of our meal nor hear our laughters anymore, but I believe this place is still the one we knew. (He sighed and averted his eyes, his cheeks flushing a light pink.)… Now it's too late to take this painting away, but consider it is... a way to remind you of _this evening_."

"As if I could forget !" Switzerland suddenly cried out.

Austria blinked, taken aback by his violent reaction.

"Do you think centuries have such a bad effect on my memories ?" Switzerland growled. "As if I could forget these beautiful evenings, this cabin, this friend I had... (His voice sharpened.) These years of silence, these conflicts... (He shook his head, gritting his teeth.) As if."

The Austrian took a step closer. Switzerland flinched and took a step backward.

"Don't... !"

"Switzerland, I know you never forgave... nor forgot me. And... Perhaps you never will."

The last syllables seemed to take an effort to be said.

"But... There's no way such a place would be endangered in the future. So... Whenever you need or want it..."

He didn't finish his sentence for his eyes did, laid on the painting.

Switzerland's hands were sweaty. Why were his weaknesses trying to show up like that ? Where was his legendary strength when he needed it ? He couldn't !... Not in front of Austria !...

His eyes were burning. A rock was slowly forming within his throat. Was there a way to escape, in this small and dark Austrian museum ?

"I don't... need it" was all he could say.

The look in Austria's eyes caught his attention.

It was pained. So pained. Echoing his own sorrow, so much so that he felt bad.

It matched the gaze of the young heart-broken boy inside of him that Switzerland had known.

That he had _loved_.

XXX

Switzerland's eyes widened. He swore and turned away, his cheeks burning like fire, his heart beating loudly and his eyes... watering.

"You..."

Fortunately, Austria couldn't see his face as he was back to him.

"You... broke my... young heart, Austria" Switzerland let out in a deep sigh.

Was that a young boy speaking right through his mouth ? He didn't know. It seemed like the past years, decades, centuries were being erased one by one, back to a time they could blindly tell the truth to each other.

How many regrets were being expressed, with tears forming in the corner of Switzerland's eyes ?

A big hand gently took his and pressed it. Switzerland flinched again. A warm breath caressed his ear, making his heart throb.

"Pardon me, my friend."

'We're not friends.'

He couldn't say it.

The boy inside of him didn't want to believe it.

The boy inside of Austria didn't want to hear it.

Yet, Switzerland had to witness his own burning tears rolling down his cheeks and a silent pained sigh escaping his lips.

No...

Why...

What was this spell, forcing him to open his shattered heart ?

Switzerland hid his face in his hand. He moved to run away, ashamed to have showed such a weakness to his old friend and actual ennemy.

"I-I have to go" he pretexted, holding back a sob. "Liechten-"

"Switzerland, don't leave..."

He shook his head, tears falling again. Austria was slowly getting that Switzerland was crying.

"I beg you..."

The sob finally went out, as the most heart-breaking music Austria had ever heard. He took a step closer and embraced Switzerland from behind. The smaller body was shaking, but didn't move away.

The warmth that filled him... for such a long time it had been a hopeless fantasy.

Switzerland couldn't feel insecure. Austria's tenderness for him was... stronger than a weapon. A weapon that couldn't attack him. As crazy as it sounded, it wasn't dangerous. He was almost sure of this.

He wiped his wet cheeks with both hands. Austria tightened his arms around him, slightly resting his cheek against the golden blonde hair, careful not to startle the other.

It felt so good. Soothing the pain like an antidote, while it was the poison itself.

Their relationship had sunk like a wreck in a sea of bitterness. But another part, burried in the Swiss man's soul, emerging more and more... Just how powerful was it to convince him to ignore this bitterness for a minute ? To accept this affection ?

Austria turned his mouth, not daring kissing Switzerland's hair even if he wanted to so badly. The blonde man felt something soft and warm briefly caress his forehead, and didn't dare put words on what was going on. Austria's lips were on his skin and... he _didn't want _to pull them away. As confused and tensed as he was, he turned a little his head as if welcoming this sweet gift.

There was no need of words. Their eyes didn't meet. But they knew what was emerging at this very moment. The little 'something' that had survived all these dark years.

"It'd be so good to go back home..." Switzerland whispered.

"I know. But... do you remember what I said that evening ?"

Switzerland searched among the foggy memories he had tried to forget in vain.

"'Home is home'" he quoted quietly.

Austria smiled softly.

"Right. And none of us is gone, isn't it ?... Listen. I'll make sure this picture vanishes by tomorrow. As long as this cabin is a secret, there's no danger to fear. So... if you want or need to... I'll help you go back home."

Switzerland seemed to calm down, as his shoulders stopped trembling like they were a few moments before. Austria released him, and nearly chocked when Switzerland turned and put his little arms around him, shyly, as if he was not sure of his actions. The smaller man rested his cheek against the taller man's shoulder, without a word.

When he shoved away, he looked quite pissed. And his cheeks were the darkest shade of red... Austria's face brightened up with a relieved, so relieved and happy smile nobody had probably seen...

"Look at you, proud Switzerland..." he teased.

"Shut up, Austria. Just shut up."

"Such a bad tongue... How childish have you remained ?"

"Austria, enough ! I'm still the country the world fears for its abilities to fight with no means and be victorious anyways !"

"Ah, I know... (He smiled tenderly and turned away to face the picture again.) You're impressive."

Switzerland sighed loudly and turned as well.

How peaceful this dreamy scene looked. But the artist was skilled enough to have made it... live again.

Staring at the picture with his past friend, Switzerland could almost hear the fire cracking in the little improvised fireplace, the wind between the leaves, and... feel what he had felt this evening.

They didn't know if it would happen one day, but... maybe they could go home together.

Yes.

That was a beautiful memory transforming into a naive dream.

A dream they shared.

A dream they expressed in silence when their hands met and slowly, lovingly intertwined.

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_Pictures are weapons. They can stab your heart. And they can protect it from danger._

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**/!\ Notes de l'auteure /!\**

[!] C'est la première histoire que j'écris en anglais. Merci d'être compréhensifs envers moi pour les erreurs que vous pourriez trouver !

[!] Cette histoire m'a été demandée par une amie ayant reçu un bon retour, j'ai décidé de la partager avec vous !

[!] La trame de cette histoire vient de mon imagination. Le reste provient de l'imagination de Hidekaz Himaruya, auteur du manga Hetalia.

[!] Aucune image, aucune chanson, aucune vidéo ne m'appartiennent, seul le collage de la couverture a été fait par mes soins.

[!] TOUS DROITS RÉSERVÉS.


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